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Indian matchmaking - has nothing changed?

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20 years later, the memory is still vivid. He sat on a Neelkamal chair, rocking gently on the wobbly hind legs while I worried of what would happen if he tripped and fell. I wouldn’t be able to control my laughter then, would I? His right leg was rooted firmly in a Bata slipper while his left leg was folded in a lap resting on the other. He massaged the resting left foot, plucking the cuticles around his big toe with his fingernails. I could see him peeling some off, playing with the barked skin turning it into a tiny ball, until he got bored and flicked it to the ground. I hid my disgust and tried to distract myself. The pedicure continued. He spoke with authority like he was a Vijay Deenanath Chahuan. Question followed question, and with every passing moment I felt more uncomfortable and hid deeper into my shell, like a nervous tortoise. The next day they called to say the Kundali did not match, a common excuse when the ladke-vale were convinced the skin color didn’t match (their exp...

Walking, in a post lockdown world..

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On 23 rd  April, we heard the news that the lockdown would be eased from the next day. This would mean we would finally be able to venture out a bit. That day would also be the 35 th  day, since we had stepped out of the building; the farthest we had gone to, being the trash chute on the same floor - and  oh boy, was I happy every time it was my turn! I enjoy my evening walks and for long time now, my daily 3 km walks covered walking from the bedroom to the living room, then to the balcony and back in repetition. I often felt like a lion pacing in his cage back and forth, the only unidirectional view of the world being what I saw from my east facing balcony. It would be so good to finally see the sunset. I imagined what it would be like when the day to step out would finally arrive. I saw myself dancing my way out of the building like the girl from the Cadbury's ad who ran onto the cricket field to meet her lover. Come D Day, the Avengers assembled in f...

Hairy Puttar .. a lockdown story

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It lay in a small corner in the bathroom cabinet – unwanted and forgotten. A long time back when we lived in the US, and my son was a co-operating toddler (yeah mom’s of toddlers, you heard it right. Wait till your sons become teenagers) , I would use it to avoid an unnecessary quarterly expense. And here it is again, all dusted and brushed , ready to make it’s mark again – (drum roll) The family clipper! Now as much as I looked forward to using it, I knew I would face some resistance when it came to the boy – now 12 yrs old and having a strong opinion about who would trim his long, unkempt locks. It reminded me of the sheep shearing session we witnessed on our recent trip to a farm in New Zealand.  It would be physically impossible to handle the boy this way now. I had to find another way. I tried emotional blackmail - “How can I kiss your forehead every night with all the shabby hair in the way?” Didn’t work. Pure blackmail – “You want me to make the brownie...

April 14, 2019 is coming!

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Game of Thrones (GoT) is a lot like Modi. It has a huge following, it is popular world-wide, and it’s Bhakts just can’t stand the fact that someone may not like it.   I agree there must be something to it, that it garners world-wide popularity. You don’t become a world-wide craze just like that! But why is it so hard to accept that it’s just not for everybody! The man in the house has been a huge GoT fan for the last 4 years. 4 years back he watched the first season online. Then binged watched on the next 3 so he could catch up with the current season at the time. I could see the admiration in his eyes – like he has seen the Taj Mahal– “ Vah what a masterpiece has been created!” He kept coaxing me to follow it too so he would have someone to discuss, analyze and predict with, at the end of every episode. I was, during that time, doing my 4 th rerun of FRIENDS. I passed. Slowly everyone that I was friends with, had become a GoT fan. I sat quietly at dinners with the f...

Oh, masala!

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I met a South African lady recently for work. The original plan was to meet in a coffee shop. A really bad sand storm meant the plan had to be changed, so I suggested “Why don’t you just come over to my place and we can discuss work over some hot masala chai.” “Perfect!”, she replied. After the work was out of our way, while we discussed life and food, she asked me if I, like every other Indian woman, had a ‘Spice box’ in my kitchen. “Oh yeah,” I said.  As I showed the contents of each box, she looked at me amazed.   “So, you use all of these every day?”, she asked curiously. “Most of them, yes.” “That’s a lot of spices!” “Oh, wait till you see the other Masalas that are neatly stowed in the fridge door,” I said, opening the fridge. (Thank God I had cleaned it recently 😉 ) “See, these are not used every day. But for example when I make Dosa and Sambhar..” “Dosa – those crispy pancakes with spicy lentil soup, right?” I smiled. “Yeah that spicy ...

The chilly plant

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In November last year I planted my chilly plant. In a few days it flowered, and for many more days after that nothing happened. I waited and waited some more, but it bore no fruit. I worried why? For some reason the flowers were not pollinating. I read online that chilly plants are self-pollinating, so I blew gently on them so as to displace the pollens. Two days and still nothing.   Then one site suggested I use a small coloring brush to gently move the pollen closer to the stigma.   Again, didn’t work. ☹ Then finally one evening, there was a big thunderstorm (I know, very filmy - “Toofan aya” type, right?) And lo, ‘Anther aur stigma ka milan hua!’ My chilly plant finally bore fruit. To my surprise it wasn’t the green chilly I expected. The baby chilly was plump and yellow and grew facing heaven – but it was unique and it was mine. To think of it, gardening is so much like parenting – Patience is the key! Every plant grows at it’s own pace. Some are just late b...

Mommy Chronicles #1 - Three minutes in the morning

It has been a hectic morning as the father is out early for a meeting and the little but precious help that I get from him during that peak time is unavailable today. The snack boxes and lunch boxes have been packed. I have gulped my bowl of cereals. The girl has thrown a tantrum because I promised I would pack a bottle of Tang and have ‘conveniently’ forgotten! The girl has been dropped at the bus stop. The boy has been walked to school in what I would not describe as a pleasant walk (blame the rising heat). I have pushed myself to walk again to the gym and workout for a good 45 minutes. I walk back home, exhausted from the extra weights I pushed myself to lift today. I walk back home, where I know the kitchen sink will be full of the dishes, bowls and the everyday omelet pan. The clothes have not been folded yet. And the next load is ready to go into the washing machine. Our new dining table will be arriving today so the old one will need to be cleared before that.  I l...