Yesterday in Ipswich

Maybe it was a long lost friend who met me on Facebook just as I was about to leave for home.
Maybe my kids had whined a little too much that morning over a dumb piece of paper with the usual “No I took it first, no I took it first” squabble.
Maybe I wanted to rebel against the nagging neck pain that reminded me it was mid-life.
Maybe I loved my Ipswich days a little too much - carefree days, single, phoren country, very little responsibility and pounds in the pocket.

That day when I sat in my car on BMCC road, the road back home was different. I was not in my car. I was sitting in a time machine that was taking me back to 1999. I was sitting alone on the front seat of the bus on Superroute 66. The English countryside was still the same – lush green and peaceful. I got down at my stop and walked alone through the town centre lane, making a quick check to see if there was anything new at Primark.

I turned on Law college road. I saw a group of friends having fun outside Mocha. I saw Ashish, Ajita, Pournima, Vicky, Ajit and me lazying around in the living room of our house, chatting, playing cards. It was past 12 on a Sunday morning. Should we take a shower or just loaf a little while more each one thought. “It’s ok , it’s Sunday” was the collective decision and the day passed doing nothing. Absolutely nothing! Absolutely priceless!

Someone honked loud and irked me a bit but I was back in my happy place. From my office building to the BT canteen in the afternoon cold, wearing an oversized purple suede coat I had loaned from my aunt, I walked with Gautam and Ashish – debating vegetarianism. Me defending it, the other two – best debaters in the world - counter arguing – “Even plants have feelings, so plucking plants is as heinous as killing animals for food”. Gosh, we could talk on anything for any long.

I reached Nal stop; the RJs were babbling a little too much. I switched off the radio. I sang Santosh’s song “Zindagi jab bhi teri bazm mein laati hain hamein”, out loud. What agony he sang “Har mulakat ka anjam judai kyu hain?” with. I remembered him singing it more than 20 times in one day. And we (Joy, Salil, Smita and me) always wanted more.

I crossed Chitale on the right. If anyone could compete with their bakarwadis it was Vinita. On a Saturday afternoon Vinita and I decided to make bakarwadis at home. An inspiration, this woman has been in my life! On the bus ride to the tulip gardens near Amsterdam Vinita sang “Pyar ke mod pe chodoge jo bahein meri.” I had heard it for the first time then – I’ll never forget it now. And darling Savani – my 2 and a half year old friend, who taught me how much fun kids could be. Ms. Tup-tup Sawant, Ms. Dahi-dahi Athalye misses you. Or was it dahi-dahi sawant and tup-tup athalye? Either ways it was sheer amusement.

I turned right towards Dahanukar colony. There were no street lights that day. It was dark – around midnight. I slept in my little room wondering whether my friends remembered my birthday. But I am me, so I had made sure they knew. And then they all came - with gifts, cake and a musical card that is still safely kept in a bag on the loft.

I parked my car. I took the stairs instead of the elevator. I wasn’t done yet. Sue Roberts, Andrew Jr., Marc Kirshna, the old English guy who said I reminded him of his granddaughter (how could I forget his name?), the hot girl from Mumbai who was loved by all boys and envied by all girls, some faces without names, some names without faces - one after the other like a bunch of flash cards.

I rang the bell. My kids ran to me and hugged me tight. “Why are you so late?” said the little one. I felt a little guilty. I should have taken the elevator. “Come, we want to show you our new dance”, they said literally dragging me by the purse. What followed was hilarious entertainment for the next half hour. “There’s no point running back to yesterday”, I thought, “’cause tomorrow I know I will be running back to today.”

Air India - Newark to Mumbai - quick review..

The last post was when I travelled from mumbai to newark - then the kids had taken so much of my attention I had barely looked around. This times thanks to their cooperation I had a chance to experience 'Air India'. Here'a a quick review if you are planning to use it for your next travel.

The good:
1. The staff is extremely helpful and kid friendly. By the time we landed at Mumbai the air hostess knew kapil and tanisha by name and was chatting with them - a personal touch very different from my Continental experience last time.
2. They have a sky buffet in the centre of the aircraft - not a big spread but sandwiches, juices and tea, coffee laid out as a small buffet. This helps when you have kids that sleep and eat at odd hours (rather when they bring food at odd hours).
3. In flight entertainment was pretty good with the latest bollywood and hollywood movies and the usual F.R.I.E.N.D.s, How I met your mother etc.


The bad:
1. The dinner from newark to mumbai was below average. maybe other way round would be better.
2. Legroom was average but the seats were pretty hard with minimal cushioning so the 15 hr journey was a little uncomfortable.
3. The in flight entertainment for kids was very poor. Just 2 or 3 TV episodes and that too Indian tv shows. Wish they had some Nick Jr. shows too - especially considering we were flying out of the USA. I would recommend carrying your own entertainment.

The ugly:
1. The people in the flight! Made me feel I was in India the moment I boarded. There was no sense of consideration for the other - the 'sab chalta hain" attitude. Driving me especially crazy was an old uncle who at 11:30 pm (lights had been dimmed and it was supposed to be sleep time), minutes after my kids had finally slept, started playing "Aadha hain chandrama, raat aadhi.." on his laptop. I had to finally walk up to him and request him to put on his headphones, which he then hurridly did. So bothers me why he could not do so from the beginning.

Bon voyage..

Mumbai to Newark kodak moments..

1. On Mumbai airport Kapil had a good time rolling on the floor.
2. Kapil was pointing fingers at every Chinese-looking man, and yelling “mumma Chinese”. Very embarrassing, but thankfully no one understood his “mumma shinese”
3. Kapil wanted to pull off the carryon tags on every passenger’s bag. No ‘shinese’, American or Indian was spared.
4. Tanisha was a savior. She dutifully kept him occupied at Mumbai airport while I filled all the immigration forms.
5. Inglifht entertainment was not provided by Continental. It was provided by Kapil. Orange juice was on the floor twice, seats belts were not used at all, and the airhostess was referred to as “air hostess bai”.
6. Then there was silence and the kids slept good 8 hours straight. Thank God! And then it started again..
7. Three inside the airline toilet was no fun….
8. At Newark, while I stood in the immigration line, kapil ran around (again) and I was almost on the verge of a breakdown. The 10 kg backpack on my shoulders wasn’t making it easy either.
9. While I talked to the immigration officer with kapil in my arms and tanu by my side, kapil reached out for the officer’s pens and they all fell down. Thankfully he was a sweet guy and just said “hey buddy you are not supposed to touch that. Would it be ok if I came home and touched your stuff?” Kapil gave him a i-don’t-understand-or-care look and continued to reach out for the pens.
10. At baggage claim kapil wanted to get our bags off the belt. I tried explaining to him that he would not be able to lift the bag of the belt but he was in no mood to listen. He would try and pull the bag, fall down and the bag would go ahead and make one full circle before coming back. Finally I lost my patience, he got his first spanking in the US and we were out of baggage claim.
11. Magical moment – meeting rahul at the arrival gate. How was the journey he asked? Just take the kid I said.

1 day personal work...

One of my team members told me he would be on leave for a day for some personal work. I said ok. Today we got an email from him saying he is the father of a baby boy. At lunch we all discussed how we never knew his wife was expecting. And that made me think – “How god damn easy, simple and uncomplicated it is to be a father”. It just took me back in time 2 yrs when I got to know I was carrying.

The first three months were crazy. I did not want anyone in the office to know about it. I would need to throw up at least thrice a day so I would go to the restroom on the third floor of my office and do the needful. Thinking of it makes me feel like puking again. By the time that phase was over, it was time to reveal it because it was showing anyways. I had to miss an amazing summit in the US where all my colleagues got a chance to go. I could have gone but there was a chance my child would have been born somewhere over Saudi Arabia, so I dropped the plan. I worked hard till the last week so I could get most of the 3 month maternity leave. After the 3 month leave I had to go to my manager to ask for an extension. After that I had to go to him again to ask if I could work from home for some more months.

The new dad is in office today.

The HRC experience

We had promised a party to my sister and her hubby, so obviously they had finalized on one of the most expensive restaurants in Pune – Hard Rock Café.

The place was quite far (Near ABC farms, Koregaon Park) and I had never been to this side of Pune. In fact during the drive I often thought, “Is this really Pune? Looks more like B’lore” As we entered the parking area of the restaurant I started wondering “Is this India? Looks more like the US.”

There was a cover charge of 400Rs per couple and looking at the huge crowd I could understand why. We had reserved a table so that turned out to be a very good idea. The ambience inside was great; the music was a bit too loud (or maybe it’s just my age). (Warning: Not the place to go with kids. Unfortunately we didn’t know that before). Jeans and t-shirt, one kid on my waist and the other holding daddy’s hand while daddy pushed the empty stroller, we looked like complete misfits in the world of stilettos and cleavages. But who cares? We were there for the food. And guess what, we weren’t disappointed. The food was nothing short of awesome.
The Margaritas were pretty good. Ok, it was my first time so I don’t have anything to compare them too, but my husband swore they were the best in Pune. The Non Veg. Jumbo Combo platter for starters was amazing. It had little bit of everything – from potato skins to wings. The Santa Fe spring rolls in the platter were the best. In the other appetizers the Nachos were decent. The burgers were big and nice with perfectly salted French fries. The portions were huge – absolutely American style. My sister and I could only finish through the starters so we jumped directly onto the desert – a chocolate cake that was worth every paisa. It was huge. We just couldn’t finish it. The staff was very efficient and though there might have been very few occasions when they might have got to talk to small children they seemed perfectly kid friendly.

The HRC experience cost us 4K. That's pretty expensive! But considering the drinks and food portions I think that was ok for a once-in-a-while indulgence. I would definitely recommend it to anyone craving for American food.

Made in china

There have been so many occasions where someone has said “No guarantee of this stuff. See it is made in china.” And I just don’t get it. How can a product’s quality be measured by the country it is manufactured in. Quality depends on how it is manufactured and not where it is manufactured. Quality is directly proportional to the cost. If you want cheaper products you get cheaper quality. It’s that simple.

How can I be so ignorant to ‘Made in china’ when the flat screen Dell monitor I am looking at, the keyboard I am typing on, the mouse and the coffee mug too have a ‘Made in China’ tag on them. My daughter’s Fisher Price toys (considered the best brand in toys) are made in China. My Levi’s jeans are made in China. I have a 200Rs unbranded wrist watch and a 5000Rs branded wrist watch – both made in china. I can’t blame if the cheaper watch falls slow in two years. I can’t say “hey this thing does not work cause it’s made in china”.

As Indians in general I think we have always been envious of China. We are proud of our democracy (something we ought too) but that’s it. We are envious of the fact that china has made far more progress than we have in the last couple of years. We know it’s our enemy, we know it’s progressing like a bullet train; we know we can’t catch up and so we want it to fail. China-bashing thus becomes our favorite pass time.

A better approach would be to learn from them. How is it that after manufacturing to the whole world, their markets are still full? The year we decided to export mangoes to the US, there is a shortage of mangoes in the local market. Chintachen a small town in china has every household manufacturing just porcelain ware – cups, saucers, soup bowls, vases – you name it. Wuxi another small town has everyone manufacturing toys. I am not envious but in awe of how they have made effective use of their mass population for mass production (not reproduction ;-)).
It’s like the entire country is determined to make their country number 1. And they are aware of their weaknesses too. They know we are far ahead of them in one main area – language – that we can speak English, while they can’t, and beware they are catching up on that too.

Wake up Indians before even the air we breathe is ‘Made in china’.

Where do babies come from?

My maid, Swati (name changed) barely 19, got married a month back. Then one day she came to work looking tired. Around lunch time, she said she had started feeling giddy. I thought it was all the hard work any newlywed in their community probably goes through. I told her to go home and take rest. The next day she came to me with tears in her eyes. “I am pregnant”, she said. “What?”, “How?”, “Why?”, I just spurted out questions in a fit of anger plus amazement. “Both my husband and I, do not want a baby so soon. My husband has taken a loan of Rs. 1 lakh for the wedding. We want to repay that first. Only then can we think of a child. We want our child to study in an English medium school. We need to save money for that. All our dreams are crashed now”, she continued. “Did you not talk about this, Swati?”, I asked. ”Tai, we were so busy after the wedding my husband and I never got time to talk”, she said. “Ha! And you had time to do all that has gotten you in this situation”, I said to myself angrily. But she probably read my mind. What she told me next was something I really could not believe. These were people who actually did not know how babies were born!

When my maid had told me she was getting married, I had thought of enquiring whether she knew about family planning and the different types of contraceptives she could use. But “how can I ask something like this?”, I had thought at that time. Now I was angry on her, “How could they be so dumb? When will things change?”, I kept thinking. But I think I was angry more on myself for not talking about it when the time was right.

Two days later Swati told me they had taken the decision to abort the child. I could see the stress on her face. The financial burden was also evident. She would be spending more than Rs. 5000 on the doctor and the abortion pills (each pill costs Rs. 1000! Her monthly income is Rs. 2500). But more than anything the emotional burden was too big to handle. “Am I doing a sin?”, she asked me. I could not answer. I felt like I was a partner in the crime. A jaadu ki jhappi was all I could give her.

Swati was paying for a crime committed by not just the two of them but by our society, her parents, me. Why can’t we deal with sex more openly? Why can’t we talk about it? Why don’t we have sex education? Forget other’s, why couldn’t her own mother warn her of the outcome of unprotected sex. I don’t know how large my audience for this blog is, but here is a sincere request to all you educated folks out there. If you come across a similar situation, make sure you ask questions and educate others when the time is right. You could be snubbed for interfering. On the other hand, you could be helping another Swati.