Friday, March 8, 2013

Men, men, men, men

Valentine’s Day, Mother’s day, Women’s day - men and women are pouring their hearts out on how great being a woman is. Unfortunately for men, there is no such day. Here on Women’s day I pen six reasons why I feel sorry for men. My women friends would agree and say “I know”. My men friends would say “So?” (They wouldn’t really care).
1. No one talks about how great they are, how wonderful they are. No man ever inspired a poet. Even the lyricist of a sitcom who had two and a half men to write about could come up with nothing more than just “Men men men men, manly men men men” .. repeated 5 times. What’s more to write?
2. Men are always under social pressure. They can’t cry their hearts out, they can’t ride a Scooty Pep, they can’t wear baby pink. 
3. They can’t be scared of spiders or roller coasters.
4. They can’t eat a bucket of ice cream or shop till they drop and feel better.
5. They can’t be a ‘mom’. 
6. They can’t say “It hasn’t turned out like mom’s” and still get another serving.

Friday, March 1, 2013

The Vegas memoranadum

When my husband planned to go on a all-guys trip to Vegas this is what he had to sign- 

1. iPhone should be switched on and in your pocket at all times. The ‘Where am I’ app should be active at all times.
2. What happens in Vegas cannot stay in Vegas. A complete account in direct narration or video recording format must become available on arrival.
3. Though 5 shots of tequila may make you think otherwise, remember and act your real age.
4. Know when to stop – drinking. And otherwise too.
5. Always remember there’s a wife at home who loves you more than anything else in the world. Ok, cut the crap. Always remember there’s a wife at home taking care of the children - children who are capable of driving her crazy to the limit that she is capable of murder – your murder!
6. Remember that all your credit card transactions will be monitored. So don’t act smart!
7. This home is run using uncountable coupons, deals and trips to the Dollar store. So remember that the money in your pocket is not for squandering at casinos. $20 gambling limit applies.
8. That said, I definitely encourage you to enjoy your stay in Vegas. Recommended attractions – Fountains at Bellagio, M&M world, Eiffel Tower experience at Paris.

Please sign the bottom (that’s the only one you promise to see) and return –