Saturday, May 25, 2013

The Pole Star

I’m angry, I’m upset. I want my ‘adhalpad’ (Like Druv, the Pole Star’s, ‘Permanent and indispensable position’ in the sky). I feel like the unfortunate fool who stood near the door in a busy Mumbai local train, being pushed out onto the platform when it wasn’t his destination yet. “Stop, wait, I don’t want to get down here,” he said, but no one heard. So he took the next train. “This time, I’ll go and stand safe at the other end,” he thought.  Little did he know that at the next station, the platform was on his side. And fate was not. He was at the door again, resisting the force that heartlessly pushed him down. The force was stronger and he had arrived - at the wrong place again.  He was a hopeless optimist though. “This is not such a bad place, you know. You could stay here,” said a stranger on the platform. But he just smiled and walked away. He did not want to be there. He wanted to get back on the train; some train. But there was no train. He ran from one platform to the other but there was none. And then just when he was about to give up, one came along. This was his chance to get back to where he wanted to go - his final chance. He didn’t look twice. Like Incy Wincy he climbed inside again. He stood in the middle this time. He looked at the others sitting way inside – playing cards, laughing, reading newspapers, pompous in the seats they had reserved for themselves after years of travelling. He was envious. “I will be there one day,” he dreamt. But something felt wrong. He looked outside. Something was definitely wrong. He looked out again and realized he had boarded the wrong train and was going in the opposite direction. In a few minutes he we would be back on the same platform from where he had started.  He didn’t like it. Who would? But he had no choice. He had to get down.  

One time he had been a novice, one time unfortunate, one time anxious. But what he had always been was an optimist, a smiling one. And that would never change.  And he knew what he wanted was just around the corner. He just didn’t know how far ahead the next cross street would be.  

Well, my story is different. I am glad I didn’t have to sweat my day travelling on a hot day in a crowded train. My day has been more pleasant, more memorable. And for that I thank Him.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Random thoughts on a spring cleaning day.

I was cleaning up my kids’ wardrobe; segregating their clothes - winter clothes, Goodwill clothes, play clothes - when I started observing.

  • Only about 40% of clothes had been utilized a 100%. No surprises that these were the ones that were easy to iron or needed no ironing at all. And they were all dark in color. 
  • Also ironically, the least utilized ones were the ones that looked really good on them.  These were the save-it-for-special-occasions clothes that had eventually ended up in the uselessly-outgrown stack. 
  • The hand-me-down pile going out of the house was really small. Most of my boy’s old jeans were ripped near the knees. Most of my girl’s jeans, though 3 sizes smaller now, she still wore – as Capris.  Talk about forever size zero!
  • The girl’s side of the wardrobe had encroached onto the boy’s. (Who hasn't gone to get a blue shirt for their son and bought three new dresses for their daughter along with it?) 
  • For the girl, the intersection set of the clothes that I liked and approved of and the clothes that she liked and wanted to wear seemed very small.  And this set was getting smaller, I noticed, with each passing year. 
  • And weren't they potty trained now? Did they really need that many under wear? 
  • And what a hopeless optimistic I am, keeping all those solitary socks!

Spring time is good. It makes me clean up the space and get rid of the things I no longer need. I wish I could do that exercise for my mental space.